Helmet

You and your helmet are lost at sea again. No one's looking for you because they know you're soft and chewy, and that one day your hair will be more famous than you are. Pretending to be a soldier helps you pass the day on the raft, except imaginary bullets keep hitting your realistic spine. They can be picked out and thrown at the sharks, who mime rending you into torn pieces of paper, then eating your spitballs. One day when a battleship arrives, you tell the concerned sailors to keep travelling to their AA meetings with those sea mines. You won't give up your dream of being a starfish, too crusty for any one's mouth, lit up in Hollywood signs with your hairstyle, the second banana, mentioned below it.