Classroom

You are in a class by yourself, the only student being taught by the universe. You must write "I Think, Therefore I Am" two million times on the blackboard. A black hole steals your lunch, and the branches of philosophy argue so hard over your toy brain kit that you just hand it over to them. In P.E., you can't climb to the top of the food chain, so the predator above you chases you around the gym. The worm inside the instructor's apple grows a halo and invites you to the afterlife. The hours of an atomic clock show meltdown at the end of school. When everything fails to blow up, you push through the crowded bus stop to your new mother, who puts you in a stroller and coos at you, till you giggle and forget everything you learned.