New Direction

A new direction in washing clothes has begun. An army of priests disagree on its significance. Will the shirts retain their artificial tint, or will they rise up on lines, unwilling to touch the ground again? Will the dryer reject them, sending out withering heat, or will it embrace them with spins that take them toward fabric ectascy. Their followers take up arms, then legs, then actual guns, then actual crab legs. The advertising company which created the ad campaign now wishes it had taken the adult diaper account instead. On the battlefield a bottle of bleach spills over the front lines, burning everyone horribly. A wave of detergent wipes trenches of soldiers off the atlas. After years of fighting, a peace agreement is signed, and people can now determine whether to follow the new direction or stay with the old. Old jeans continue to rip, socks are lost in couches, a sweater lingers in the closet, neutral.